Dear Nadine Khan,
I am a 23-year-old girl, in my final semester of BS. Two years back, I got engaged to a guy, A. Our relationship lasted for one year only. Due to some issues between his parents and mine, my engagement was broken. Within a month, his mother, got him engaged to another girl. It hurt me a lot, because I thought he loved me. Anyway, I tried to move on and would have been successful too, as my mother, through a marriage bureau, got a couple of very promising options. But, just as I was about to make up my mind, A started calling me again. He told me that he was not getting along with his fiancee, and still loved me. Initially, I did my best to ignore his calls, but I still love him so I started talking to him again. My parents were furious when they found out about us, and told me not to talk to him. My friends also think that he is not a decent guy because he is cheating on his fiancee. I told this to A, and he said that he has already told his fiancee that he would be breaking the engagement because he cannot forget me. I don’t know what his parents will think, but my parents are so mad that they want me married immediately, and have asked me to say yes to one of the two proposals. A has still not spoken to his parents. He says we can get married first and inform our parents afterwards. Please, Professor Nadine, help me! I don’t know what to do.
Dear Confused B,
Even if A still loves you, he is going about the whole thing the wrong way. He should have discussed everything with his parents, and broken his engagement before approaching you. You said that you were about to move on if he had not come back into your life. It means may be you did come to terms with the fact that there are other options that could work for you. You should consider everything very carefully. Unless his parents agree to mend terms with yours, it would not do. Getting married without the blessings of your parents is not a good idea. Tell A to convince his parents to let him marry you, and you try to persuade your parents to do the same. Do all that you can to persuade your parents and if they don’t agree, then you will have to decide whether you love A enough to estrange yourself from your parents. Best of luck!