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Letters

April 10, 2018
By you desk

I am a 45-year-old housewife and my only problem is my husband’s extracurricular activities.

Dear Nadine Khan,

I am a 45-year-old housewife and my only problem is my husband’s extracurricular activities. I have been married for 25 years, and in the first 20 years, he was a model husband. In his line of work, he used to meet so many pretty women but never gave me a chance to doubt him. The problem started after the marriage of my daughter last year. I saw him ogling the girls who were beautiful. I confronted him and he said he was only looking at them because he was surprised at the way they were dressed up. I believed him because he is somewhat conservative.

The next time, I had cause to doubt his sincerity at the annual official dinner of his company. He was very chummy with a co-worker who is not more than 25.

Nadine, I don’t know how to handle this situation. He seems to be totally besotted with this female. I have seen them together many times in the afternoon, as I pick my son from his college, which is near my husband’s favourite restaurant.

I have asked him many times what his intentions are, and he says he loves only me but wants to have some fun time. He assured me that the girl does not mean anything to me. Nadine, I don’t like this situation as it is very humiliating to me. Unfortunately, I have no one to support me. My parents are not alive and my brothers don’t care about me. If I leave him, there is no one I can go to. My son still needs another five years to settle down. He says I should wait for him to become independent. The thing is that I love him very much and don’t want to leave him, and don’t want him to play around. What should I do?

-Weeping Willow

Dear Weeping Willow,

Your husband is going through mid-life infatuation issue, which is not an excuse for his behaviour. He did not indulge in frivolous stuff when he was young because you too were in your prime. He probably means it when he tells you that it’s not serious but you should not let your guard down. Try to occupy his free time. Go visit him during lunch frequently and unexpectedly, so he does not get to spend a lot of time with that girl.

Try to be extra nice in your behaviour, and keep him involved with family related activities. Other than that, what you can do is to pray to God to protect your family against all such women. Since you don’t want to leave him, try to work on your relationship. Maybe you have been ignoring him? Try to give him attention and spend quality time with him. Hopefully he will revert to being his old self. Good luck!

Problems that need a solution?

You can e-mail Prof. Nadine Khan at nadinekhan_34@yahoo.com

Write to Prof. Nadine Khan, c/3o Editor ‘You!’ magazine, The News, Al-ehman Building

(4th Floor) I.I Chundrigar Road, Karachi.