My husband is having an affair with his colleague! He has been neglecting me for quite some time, but I put it down to tiredness as his work hours are pretty long. I love him a lot and look after him to the best of my ability, but he doesn’t love me. He married me only because his father and mine have a joint business. So it was more of a business venture for him than an affair of the heart. We have been married for seven years and have two sons and a daughter. He adores our children and looks after my needs. He gives me whatever I want except his love. I always go through his pant pockets and cell phone messages, but I have not discovered anything incriminating so far. He often talks on his cell phone in hushed voice with a girl, and he was talking about meeting somewhere. I redialled the last number on his recent calls’ list when he went to washroom and a girl picked up the phone! I disconnected the call, of course. I have confronted him many a time but he says he is not involved with anyone. If he is not involved with someone, why is he cold with me? I am fed up of this situation and I think if things don’t change I will ask him to divorce me. What advice can you give me, Nadine?
Dear Frustrated Wife,
It is not fair to accuse your husband of unfaithfulness on the basis of an overheard conversation. Your husband knows well you don’t trust him, and that is why he was talking in a low voice. It could have been about an official meeting, so without a shred of solid evidence to back up your allegation, you cannot say that he is having an affair. Perhaps it’s your suspicious nature that has made your life so miserable. My dear, it seems to me that you have never trusted your husband at all. Instead of doubting him, change your attitude. Show your husband that you love and trust him. You have stated that he looks after you and your daughters, which shows that he is not a heartless fellow at all and wants your marriage to work. Even if he was forced to marry you, he will start loving you if you give him a chance. Behave like a loving wife, look after his needs, talk to him about his daughters and you will soon find that the self-created distance will melt away. Don’t even think about getting divorce for you don’t have sufficient grounds. Just because you have heard him talking on his cell in a low voice doesn’t mean that he is involved with a girl. Don’t drive him away from yourself and your daughters. Best of luck!
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