I am in love
I am a 19-year-old girl and I am doing my bachelors in Computer Science. I am studying in a women’s college. I belong to a middle class family. My father was a journalist who is now retired and has started his own business. Since we have so many financial problems, I have to give up on some of my dreams.
Guru, the reason behind writing this to you is that I have been in love with my cousin since my childhood. Initially, I took it as an attraction or some random crush, but I have realised now that I cannot live without him. I want to marry him, but his family is very rich. In addition, he does not believe in cousin marriages. My big mistake was to express my feelings to him, to which he didn’t respond well. I know it was a huge blunder on my part but at that time I was only 16. After that, I tried very hard to get him out of my thoughts, but I couldn’t.
He knows that I have feelings for him and I always want to talk to him, connect with him on social media, but he never tries to call me back or text me. Since he lives in another city, I seldom get to see him, but whenever we meet he behaves as if he cares about me. But I know the truth. The thing is I love him so much and can’t let him go. I hope you understand my feelings for him. What should I do?
Dear True Lover,
I cannot blame you for having feelings for your cousin. But since you know that he has no regard for you, why are you wasting your time thinking about him? Dear, when you know that he is not interested in getting married to you and has already rejected your love then what’s the point of stalking him? Can’t you understand that your cousin is only taking advantage of your feelings? It’s good for his ego that some girl is crazy after him, but what about you? Have you ever thought about it?
I think your dignity and self-respect comes first. So don’t degrade yourself in front of him by showing how much you still love him. Girl, wake up and accept reality. He will never marry you and sooner or later you have to let him go. Remember, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Just try to divert your mind by taking interest in constructive activities, like reading. Engage yourself in house chores so that you will be left with very little time to think about him. Focus on your future and build a career, so that you can financially help your father. I am sure you will find someone who will reciprocate your feelings. Good luck!
She is so mean
I am a big fan of you and love the way you solve people’s problems. Today, I have a problem of my own to share with you. I have a friend, H. Actually, she calls me her friend but H is never there when I need her help. H is a very selfish girl; she wants me to do all her work as if I am her servant. Moreover, she keeps on insulting me in front of my friends and other class fellows. Some incidents have happened in my life which are very serious and she knows them all. H keeps on telling them to other girls. She makes fun of me in front of the whole class. I want to tell her that I can’t be friends with her but I think that she would be hurt by it. I really don’t want to hurt her. Please, I really need your help .What can I do to stop her from insulting and making fun of me?
The One with a Selfish Friend
Dear The One with a Selfish Friend,
God helps those who help themselves. Dear, don’t be a doormat! Your friend is actually taking advantage of your humility. She knows that she can get away with anything as she knows you won’t react or retaliate, knowing how meek you are. I think it’s about time you put a foot down and give your friend a piece of your mind. Be firm and loud as you have every right to protect your dignity and honour. Don’t worry about hurting her feelings. When she has no regard for you, then you are under no obligation to be friends with her. It’s much better to get rid of toxic friends than remain friends with them. You are a kind-hearted girl and you deserve better friends. Good luck!
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