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October 5, 2018
By US Desk

I am a 21-year-old girl. I have recently completed my B.A. These days I am just relaxing at home....

I want a rich guy

Salam Guru,

I am a 21-year-old girl. I have recently completed my B.A. These days I am just relaxing at home. I belong to a middle class family. I am not ambitious, but just want to have a good life. I am very pretty and all my friends tell me that I should marry a prince. I am not inclined towards studies so I am not interested in studying further or doing a job. Actually, Guru, I am not one of those girls who build their own career. I want to marry some guy who can provide me with all the luxuries in life. Normally, average looking girls work very hard because they have little hope of getting well established guys. Since I am so beautiful and charming, I am sure that I will have no problem in getting a handsome and rich guy. But Guru, my mother is very worried for me. She says that I should not be so proud of my looks. According to her, money is not everything and one should look for a good life partner. My mother is considering a proposal for me. The family is decent, and the guy who is 26 years old, has just started his career. He seems like a good person but he is not rich. They are middle class like us. Guru, I don’t want to marry him. I am young and desirable and would like to wait for my Prince Charming, but my mother is pressurising me to say yes to this proposal. She is of the view that I will not get a better proposal than this. I am mentally disturbed. What should I do?

A Narcissist

Dear Narcissist,

Your mother is right; you shouldn’t be so proud of your looks. You must thank God for giving you a beautiful face, but what if you were not that pretty? So, you should not look down upon those who are average looking. We all are God’s creations and His creations cannot be ugly. Each one of us is beautiful, some have beautiful minds, some have beautiful souls and some have beautiful faces. Immature people prefer money over everything, but not sensible ones. Yes, it’s nice to have a good life but is there any guarantee of living a happy life with a rich partner? Not necessarily. I think you should consider that proposal. The guy has just started his career so you never know he can go places once he gets married to you. Don’t wait for Prince Charming. Come out of your make-believe world, it only happens in movies and this is real life. Good luck!

I don’t want to live in a joint family

Dear Guru,

I am a 25-year-old girl. I have been reading Us magazine since I was a teen and I really like your column. Guru, I have been romantically involved with a guy H since five years. We studied in the same university. We both have done our Masters and now both of us are working in a private firm. This is our good luck that we are in the same office. H has recently proposed to me and we are officially engaged now. I am very happy but the only hitch is that after marriage I have to live in a joint family. Guru, I don’t want to live in a joint family. I have been brought up in a non-interfering environment. I live with my parents and a younger brother. And I am not used to having too many people in the house. I discussed my apprehensions with H but he says that he cannot afford to have a separate house at this stage. Secondly, he does not want to leave his parents. I am getting married in few months’ time but the thought of living in a joint family just makes me nervous. What should I do?

Edgy Bride

Dear Edgy Bride,

Relax. Girls often get tensed at the time of their marriage. Don’t think too much, dear. Girls are often wary of living in joint family but it is actually not bad to live with your in-laws for a while. It is always good to know your hubby’s family - up close and personal - and this can only be done when you live with them. Put yourself in H’s shoes and then think. He is right; it’s not easy these days to live on your own. Joint family system has its perks, too. The best benefit is the monetary sharing. Just get all the negative thoughts out of your mind. You are one lucky girl who is marrying her love, so celebrate it. Start your journey on a positive note. I am sure H will give you all his support in helping you adjust to your new environment. Wish you a happy married life ahead. Good luck!

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