I am so confused
I am a 16-year-old girl. I am a student of pre-medical, first year in a prestigious college. I am facing a serious issue and I need your expert advice as I have heard a lot about you through my friends.
Guru, I have been a brilliant student throughout my academic years. I am sure that I will attain good marks to get admission in a medical college. Becoming a doctor is not my only desire; in future, I want to become the prime minister of Pakistan and this is my ultimate dream.
Right now, my problem is related to my boy friend and my parents. Actually, I am in love with a very cute guy. We’ve been together for two years. My parents have caught us three times and I feel like they have stopped trusting me. I want to gain their trust and love back. I want to achieve all my goals. I want to do something for my country but I feel that because of this relationship, I have lost my concentration and cannot focus on anything. I feel that we have no future together. Our parents will never accept us as a couple. My parents hate him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave him but I feel that it is no use being with him. Please help.
Dear Desperate Girl,
It’s good to know that you have great plans for your country. It’s good to have big ambitions and plans but becoming the future prime minister of Pakistan will need a lot of hard work and dedication. Well, I will not discourage you as you are young and full of passion and your energy level is so high, but on a practical note, it’s better if you focus on becoming a doctor first. I am sure by that time you will attain maturity and will be in a position to make realistic goals.
As for your love problem, I think you should not carry on with that guy. When you know that there is no future with him, then what’s the point of prolonging the relationship? Secondly, you are too young to indulge in a serious relationship. If you really want to regain the trust of your parents then you must break all the ties with that guy. Your parents are sensible people and they know what’s good for their daughter. When they see that you have stopped meeting him, they will start trusting you again. I know it won’t be easy for you to break up with him but you have to take this step if you want to have a tension-free life. Good luck!
I have space issues
I am a 15-year-old girl and a student of O Levels. I am living in a joint family with my parents, younger brother, grandparents, my chacha’s family and an unmarried phoopo. We are financially sound. Although we live in a big house, the place is not sufficient to accommodate so many people as it’s an old house with lots of open space but few rooms.
Guru, I have to share my room with my younger brother. It was okay till we were young but now it has become very difficult to adjust in one room. I cannot even study in peace or invite my friends over as there is space issue. Sometimes I feel very frustrated. I have told my mother many times that now we should move to our own place but I guess she is very afraid of my grandparents. What should I do?
Dear Upset Girl,
Well, where there are many blessings to live in a joint family, there are some practical issues which need to be addressed, too. Our elders tend to forget that growing families need their own space and at one point they have to be separated for practical reasons. It’s a circle of life. One cannot live in a joint family system forever primarily because of accommodation issues.
I advise you to talk to your father instead of your mother. Your father can talk to his parents and maybe you people can shift to some other place near your grandparents’ house. And then there is another option; your father can make a separate portion for himself in the same house if all agree. Well, it’s not an easy task. Your father will need to be very diplomatic and make sure that your grandparents’ sentiments are not hurt. Hope the matter will be resolved amicably. Good luck!
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