US

COMIC RELIEF

April 13, 2018
By Usama Rasheed

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house....

Husband gets the answer

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their PJs, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all around the front yard. The door to his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and a throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, and sand lay piled up by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and other piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried that she might be ill, or worse.

He found her lounging in the bedroom, still in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She smiled, looked up at him and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know, every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?”

“Yes”, he replied reluctantly.

She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it!”

The curious guy

“What happened?” asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.

“Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out.

“I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn’t see what the sign said.

“By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view.”

“And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?” asked the visitor.

“Yes.”

“What did it say?”

“Don’t stand up in the car!”

Compiled by Usama Rasheed