December 8, 2017
By US Desk

I am a 20-year-old college going girl. I am a B.A final student in a reputed college.

I want a grand wedding

Dear Guru,

I am a 20-year-old college going girl. I am a B.A final student in a reputed college. I am engaged to be married to my cousin in three months’ time. I belong to a middle class, but educated family. My father is a professor in a college whereas my mom teaches in a school. We have our own house and a flat (which is on rent) so as such there are no financial problems. I have two elder sisters who are happily married.

My problem is that only three months are left to my marriage and we haven’t done any preparations. Actually, my parents spent all their savings (and sold their two plots) on my sisters’ weddings. They had such lavish weddings but now when it’s my time, they are left with little cash. Though they have a decent amount (that they have kept aside for my wedding), it’s not enough to celebrate my wedding in an elaborate manner like they did on my sisters’ weddings.

Guru, we have a big family and everyone is expecting a grand wedding this time, too. My mother has kept two gold sets for me and they can afford a decent wedding reception. But Guru, I am very upset. The money I have in my hand for my wedding paraphernalia is not sufficient for my wedding shopping. I cannot buy designer stuff from this limited amount. All my friends are asking me to have a bridal shower before tying the knot. My parents are really worried. They are thinking of selling their only flat (which is on rent) so that they can meet my wedding expense. We have no brother and this flat is their supplementary source of income. My parents and I are under social pressure. It’s a matter of our prestige now. I want to have a grand wedding. Should they sell the flat? What do you suggest Guru?

Anxious Bride

Dear Anxious Bride,

I know how important it is for a young bride to celebrate her big day in style. Everyone wants to celebrate their happiness and why not, they say when you have it, flaunt it. But what if one cannot afford a grand wedding? Dear, don’t be so impressed by all these romantic movies where they show fancy weddings.

Unfortunately, we live in a materialistic society; people like to show off, especially on weddings. Well, the rich can easily throw lavish weddings but it’s really difficult for middle class people to afford big weddings. And, sometimes in a bid to keep up with the Joneses they come under debts. I don’t understand that when they can celebrate your wedding decently, why do you want them to sell their flat so that you can have a grand wedding? Don’t be so selfish, girl. You are only worried about your friends and society. Think about your parents. If they sell their flat, their regular income will be lost. Do you think in these days of inflation they will be able to meet their expenses on meagre pension money once they get retired? My dear, a happy married life does not depend on the amount of money you spend on your wedding. Don’t compare yourself with your sisters. And don’t worry about society, no matter what you do, people have to say something or the other.

So, go for a simple wedding and don’t put your parents in unnecessary trouble. Good luck!

My best friend has changed

Salam Guru,

I am a 16-year-old girl. I study in a prestigious school. My problem is related to my best friend, Z. She used to share all her secrets with me and we used to talk endlessly. Then about six months ago a new girl R got admission in our class. Her parents have recently shifted from England to Pakistan. R speaks well and is very active in sports. Now, Z and R have become good friends. Z has totally changed; she spends more time with R and avoids me. Guru, I don’t know what has happened to Z. Should I talk to her or should I also start ignoring her? It hurts.

Lonely B

Dear Lonely B,

Don’t be so emotional; friends come and go. It seems like your friend Z is really impressed by this new girl R as she has come from England, but that should not bother you. I suggest you keep your cool and don’t talk to Z about this matter. She is free to make new friends. To maintain your self-respect, treat her the way she treats you. I am sure you have other friends, too; spend time with them. Good luck!