I am so confused
I read your column regularly and I really appreciate your unique way of looking at problems. I am an 18-year-old guy and I am an A Level student. We are two brothers. My father works for a bank. He is on a senior position and earns well. Actually the problem is my parents got separated two years ago. It was a total shock for us. My parents never had a happy married life. My mother was a housewife and she tried her best to save the marriage for her children but she finally gave in after 17 years of living in an abusive relationship. My father is very short-tempered and he gets angry on petty things. He is a true chauvinist. I don’t blame my mom for leaving my father.
Last year she married her first cousin and is living happily with him. We are living with our father but we are not happy. He is also thinking about getting married again. We have a full time maid and a driver who look after us, but Guru I am getting frustrated day by day. I cannot concentrate on my studies. I want my mother to live with us but I know it’s not possible now. Our stepfather has suggested that we should live with them. He is a nice man but I am very confused, because I don’t even want to leave my father either. I don’t understand why people divorce. Don’t they think about their children before taking such a decision? What should I do?
Dear Frustrated Boy,
I can imagine the kind of mental agony you must be going through. Though divorce is legal, it has its own implications. In case of divorce, it is children who suffer the most. Like in your case, your mother is happily married now and your father is considering his options, too. But you and your brother are having a hard time in terms of psychological stress. Had your father been a little compassionate with your mom, she wouldn’t have never left him. This is so unfortunate. However, what is done cannot be undone. Your stepfather may be a nice or generous person but you cannot deny the fact that he is your stepfather. I advise you to stay with your father. Even if he is strict, his love is genuine for you guys. Both of you have a right on your father’s property.
You must concentrate on your studies; you can even consider going abroad to study further. Meanwhile take care of your younger brother. He needs your love and attention more than ever. Spend more time with your brother in a bid to cultivate a strong emotional bond with him. Right now, you are going through a tough time but after few years down the road, hopefully your life will become smooth.
I am a victim of love
I am a 22-year-old female. I am a graduate but I feel my life is dull and meaningless. Guru, I am a victim of love. I was deeply in love with my neighbour since I was 16. We used to like each other a lot. He showed me dreams of a colourful world where I would be his bride.
A year ago I had the shock of my life when I got to know that he was also having an affair side by side with his cousin. And recently they got engaged. Guru, my whole world has been turned upside down. It’s been six months that I have broken up with him but I don’t know how to live without him. What should I do?
Dear Dejected Soul,
You should not lose heart. Actually he never deserved your love. Don’t spoil your tears after a cheater like him. This is not the end of this world; your whole life is ahead of you. Instead of wasting your precious time thinking of him, you must throw him out of your mind. Come on, concentrate on your future; start afresh! You are a graduate and can easily get a job. Spend time with your friends, and keep yourself busy; it will help you forget him. Remember, he was never yours. And you never know what destiny has in store for you. Good luck!
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